You Know Your a Drag Racing Addict if:
You have two dogs at home named “Snake” and “Mongoose.
You want to have kids just so you can run a Jr. Dragster
You know more about a drivers career than his wife does
Your weed whacker was blue painted by Keith Black
You put a 60-foot launch pad in your backyard instead of a pool
After your garage door opens you “stage” and wait on the tree before pulling out
After one pass around the yard on your lawn mower you read the plug and fatten "er up".
During the winter you roll the windows down just to smell the tire smoke from skidding
You can’t remember your spouse’s birthday, but you know the e.t. and speed records in
every professional class.
You think the purpose of wings is to prevent flight
You catch yourself saying, "I wish stoplights would flash yellow before they turn green."
That way you could get a better reaction time
You know Hookers are headers
You memorize the Summit and Jeg’s catalog so you can build your dream car in your
mind when you’re bored
"Going to the lanes" means getting ready to race, not going to roll some stupid heavy ball
down a wood floor, to knock down pins.
Your home page is set at NHRA.com or Simply-Wicked.com.
When Introducing your family, You refer to them as your crewmembers.
You see burnout marks in the pavement and try to determine how serious a car it was bye
the length and width of the stripes. Then you say, I coulda done better.
You refer to a cold day as "fast air."
While your squirting dish soap in the sink , you’re thinking about priming the injector.
When you joined the AARP. you got mad because they didn’t send you a pin, a patch, a
rule book, or 48 issues of anything
You talk in your sleep and your wife wakes you up in the middle of the night and wants to
know who Shirley, Connie, and Yolanda are.
You describe someone who’s upset as being "on the chip" or "on the tire."
You’ve even told a co-worker that your nutty boss finally "tossed the belt."
You refer to an employee who didn’t show to work as "having a cylinder out."
You use the emergency brake handle as the "hand brake" while inching up at a stoplight,
pretending your staging.
You send a monthly letter to the city council asking it to move the traffic lights to street
level because looking up is messing up your reaction time.
Your wife and kids report you missing 23 times a year.
Your are more enthusiastic about getting your National DRAGSTER in the mail than a
You don’t know Richard Nixon was from Yorba Linda, Calif., but you do know John
You’ll spend $300 for a single slick, but you won’t spend more than $150 for all four new
tires on your commuter.
You run your commuter tires at 6psi
You have a shift light in your minivan
You call the freeway offramp the "shutdown area"
You refer to Sacramento Raceway park
and Samoa Drag Strip
as "the happiest Place on earth"
While you’re shopping for underwear, you find yourself looking for an SFI tag.
You know that all the things they clamed to do to that car in Grease can’t really be done
at the same time.
You have a CD mix of car songs, including "409," "little Deuce Coupe," "and "Shutdown."
You honk and give a thumbs-up to any other car on the road sporting an NHRA Member
You drive 350 miles to your sisters just because there is a drag strip 20 miles from her house
You never wanter to play with your frends sister untill you found out she had a dragster now you will drive 350 miles just to play
You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.
When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
You bought a race car before buying a house.
You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance): 1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop. 2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel. 3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder. 4) A grease pit. 5) Deaf neighbors. 6) Some sort of house with a working toilet & shower on the property - or - hookups for the motor home.
You have enough spare parts to build another car.
More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.
You save broken car parts as "momentous".
You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).
The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips.
After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation she answers: "Why...is there a race there?"
You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed shop.
You are the type of person who goes postal when you have to sit in a traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet you can spend five hours in the staging lanes.
Every stoplight becomes a practice tree to test your ability to tree the guy in the other lane's eyes out.
You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family, then you drive it like you stole it.
Got any More send them to me and I will post them.